Animation Anarchy PRESENTS: THE FAIRY TALE HORROR Show – Part 2
(Or: How Your Favorite Childhood Characters Were Actually Criminals, Serial Killers, and Nightmares in Disguise.)
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You Ever Wonder Why Fairy Tales Feel Like They Were Written By a Lunatic?
Last time, we discovered that the “happily ever after” fairy tales we grew up with were actually bloodbaths, torture porn, and full-on horror movies in disguise.
And guess what?
WE’RE NOT DONE.
Because Disney and Hollywood sanitized some of the most messed-up stories in history, and it’s time we pull back the curtain on their crimes.
So grab a snack (but not an apple, just to be safe) because we’re about to expose the most terrifying, most ridiculous, and most “HOW DID WE THINK THIS WAS FOR KIDS?!” fairy tale origins.
And before I get permanently banned from the Magic Kingdom for exposing this, SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
If I’m gonna go down, at least let my subscriber count go up. Click here before Disney wipes me off the map.
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PART 2: THE REAL VERSIONS OF THESE FAIRY TALES WERE ACTUAL NIGHTMARES
1. Pinocchio – The Original Was a Straight-Up Horror Movie
The Disney version of Pinocchio is already terrifying.
I mean, let’s review:
✔ Kids turn into donkeys.
✔ There’s a literal sea monster.
✔ Pinocchio dies and comes back to life like he’s in a telenovela.
But the ORIGINAL version?
OH, BUCKLE UP.
✔ Pinocchio is a straight-up menace to society.
✔ He immediately runs away, and Geppetto gets arrested because people assume he was trying to kill Pinocchio.
✔ Pinocchio MURDERS Jiminy Cricket with a hammer. (Yep. Just flattens him. Like a psychopath.)
✔ He almost gets cooked alive.
✔ He gets hanged from a tree and left to die.
YES. THE ORIGINAL ENDING WAS PINOCCHIO BEING LYNCHED.
Carlo Collodi, the author, really said:
“This puppet disobeyed his father. Guess he dies now.”
AND THEN SOMEONE LOOKED AT THIS AND SAID, “You know what? This would make a great kids’ movie.”
DISNEY.
EXPLAIN YOURSELVES.
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2. Peter Pan – Neverland? More Like Serial Killer Island.
Oh, you thought Peter Pan was just a fun-loving boy who never grew up?
HE IS A MENACE TO SOCIETY.
✔ Peter Pan literally kidnaps children.
✔ If the Lost Boys get too old, HE KILLS THEM. (Oh, you hit puberty? Guess you gotta die.)
✔ Tinker Bell is a straight-up attempted murderer.
Yes, you read that right.
Tinker Bell tries to kill Wendy.
Multiple times.
AND SHE FACES ZERO CONSEQUENCES.
She’s just like:
“Oopsie, I told the Lost Boys to assassinate Wendy. Anyway, back to being cute!”
WHY DID WE IGNORE THIS?!
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3. Rapunzel – The Prince’s Escape Scene Is So Gross, Disney Would Be Arrested If They Animated It
The Disney version:
✔ Rapunzel has magic hair.
✔ A charming rogue helps her escape her tower.
✔ She finds her real family, and they all live happily ever after.
The original version:
✔ Rapunzel’s prince does not escape cleanly.
✔ Instead, he JUMPS OUT OF THE TOWER to get away.
✔ BUT HE LANDS IN A PATCH OF THORNS.
✔ AND THE THORNS GO STRAIGHT INTO HIS EYEBALLS.
✔ SO HE WANDERS AROUND BLIND UNTIL RAPUNZEL FINDS HIM.
THAT. WAS. HIS. ESCAPE. PLAN.
IMAGINE IF DISNEY KEPT THIS IN.
We would have had children SCREAMING in theaters.
BURN IT ALL DOWN.
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4. The Frog Prince – This Wasn’t a Kiss. It Was a HOMICIDE ATTEMPT.
Disney taught us that if you kiss a frog, it might turn into a prince.
ADORABLE, RIGHT?
NOPE.
In the original story, the princess:
✔ Hates the frog.
✔ Does NOT kiss him.
✔ Instead, she YEETS HIM AGAINST A WALL SO HARD THAT HE TRANSFORMS.
So in conclusion:
✔ The moral of the original story?
“If a creepy frog starts following you around, commit frog-slaughter and maybe he’ll turn into a prince.”
DISNEY.
WHAT. THE. HELL.
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5. The Pied Piper – The Most Horrific Mass Kidnapping Ever
The fairy tale:
✔ A town refuses to pay a piper for getting rid of their rat problem.
✔ So he uses his magic flute to lure away their children instead.
✔ And they are NEVER SEEN AGAIN.
YES. THIS IS A REAL FAIRY TALE.
NO. THERE IS NO HAPPY ENDING.
THOSE KIDS? GONE. FOREVER.
You know what’s even worse?
✔ Historians believe this story might be based on an ACTUAL historical event.
✔ Which means some dude possibly hypnotized an entire town’s children and just… took them.
SO WHY HAVEN’T WE TURNED THIS INTO A HORROR MOVIE YET?!
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FINAL THOUGHTS: EVERY FAIRY TALE IS JUST A HORROR MOVIE WAITING TO HAPPEN
✔ Disney? GUILTY.
✔ The Brothers Grimm? GUILTY AS HELL.
✔ Hans Christian Andersen? SHOULD BE ON A WATCHLIST.
Fairy tales were never meant to be cute bedtime stories.
They were literally designed to scare children into behaving—and, judging by the content, possibly give them lifelong trauma.
And yet?
Hollywood looked at these absolute bloodbaths and said, “Yeah, let’s make this a cartoon for kids.”
And WE LET THEM.
Next time you watch Tangled, just remember:
✔ The original Rapunzel almost blinded a man.
✔ The original Frog Prince was BRUTALLY ASSAULTED.
✔ The original Pinocchio was straight-up murdered.
AND YET WE’RE OUT HERE SINGING ALONG TO WHEN YOU WISH UPON A STAR.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?!
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BEFORE HOLLYWOOD ERASES ME, SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
And get ready for PART 3, where we:
✔ Expose the horrifying origins of Mulan, The Jungle Book, and Red Riding Hood.
✔ Talk about why The Wizard of Oz was basically a full-blown snuff film.
✔ Dive into how some of the most beloved childhood stories were actually grim survival horror tales.
If I don’t post it, assume I got Pinocchio’d and my lifeless puppet body is hanging from a tree.
Good catch! We only roast animation here.
Let’s swap The Pied Piper for something properly animated and equally horrifying.
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5. Alice in Wonderland – The Original Was Basically a Drug-Induced Psychotic Breakdown
Disney’s Alice in Wonderland is already trippy as hell.
✔ A talking cat that smiles like it knows your secrets.
✔ A caterpillar blowing hookah smoke directly into a child’s face.
✔ A tea party that feels like an actual psych ward breakout.
BUT THE ORIGINAL STORY?
IT’S WAY WORSE.
✔ Alice does NOT have a fun time.
✔ She grows and shrinks so much that she basically loses control of her own body.
✔ She gets attacked by an ACTUAL BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER.
✔ The Queen of Hearts doesn’t just scream “Off with their heads”—SHE ACTUALLY BEHEADS PEOPLE.
✔ The entire thing reads like someone took a massive hit of opium and then tried to explain their nightmares to a therapist.
And you know what’s even worse?
✔ Lewis Carroll, the author, was a deeply weird dude who had “questionable” friendships with children.
✔ Historians are STILL debating if he was just socially awkward or straight-up a creep.
AND DISNEY TOOK THIS NIGHTMARE AND SAID:
“Let’s make this a fun musical!”
BURN IT ALL DOWN.
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FINAL THOUGHTS: FAIRY TALES ARE JUST FEVER DREAMS WITH EXTRA MURDER
✔ Disney? GUILTY.
✔ The Brothers Grimm? GUILTY AS HELL.
✔ Lewis Carroll? NEEDS TO BE EXAMINED BY A TEAM OF SPECIALISTS.
At this point, every childhood movie you’ve ever loved is just an elaborate crime cover-up.
Fairy tales weren’t written to entertain kids.
They were written to traumatize them into submission.
And then?
Hollywood scrubbed the blood off, threw in some talking animals, and called it a day.
AND WE LET THEM.
So next time you rewatch Alice in Wonderland, just remember:
✔ The original Alice was basically losing her mind.
✔ The original Queen of Hearts was a full-on serial killer.
✔ The author of the story should have been on a watchlist.
AND YET HERE WE ARE.
SINGING ALONG TO A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY LIKE THIS MOVIE ISN’T A HALLUCINOGENIC NIGHTMARE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?!
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BEFORE HOLLYWOOD ERASES ME, SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL.
And get ready for PART 3, where we:
✔ Expose the horrifying origins of Mulan, The Jungle Book, and Red Riding Hood.
✔ Talk about why The Wizard of Oz was basically a full-blown snuff film.
✔ Dive into how some of the most beloved childhood stories were actually grim survival horror tales.
If I don’t post it, assume I got Wonderland’d and am currently trapped in an endless, nonsensical nightmare with no escape.
