What If How to Train Your Dragon Was a 1950s Disney Animated Classic?
What If How to Train Your Dragon Was a 1950s Disney Animated Classic?
(Or: What If Hiccup Was a Bland Prince and Toothless Sang a Duet?)
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Forget DreamWorks’ heartfelt, beautifully animated Viking epic.
Forget complex character arcs, intense dragon training, and breathtaking flight sequences.
In this timeline, How to Train Your Dragon is not a 2010 CGI marvel.
Instead, it’s a 1950s Disney hand-drawn classic—meaning:
• Hiccup is now a perfectly symmetrical, bland Prince Charming type.
• Astrid is reduced to a barely-speaking love interest.
• Toothless talks. Not only that—he sings.
• The Vikings are fun-loving, goofy sidekicks instead of war-hardened warriors.
• Every scene is saturated in Technicolor™ magic.
And, of course, it’s a musical. Because 1950s Disney didn’t do “gritty” or “nuanced.” They did talking animals, songs about believing in yourself, and a villain who is evil for absolutely no reason.
Welcome to the bubblegum, painfully sanitized, magical fantasy version of How to Train Your Dragon.
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1. Hiccup Is Now a Bland Disney Prince
Forget awkward, nerdy, inventive Hiccup who struggles to prove himself.
1950s Disney Hiccup is just a generic, square-jawed, perfectly animated Prince™.
• No depth. No insecurity. Just clean-shaven handsomeness.
• He is already a great warrior because that’s what princes do.
• He sings a song called “One Day, I’ll Fly” about his dream of soaring through the skies.
• He has no actual flaws. His only personality trait is “nice.”
• His name is not even Hiccup anymore. It’s Erik. Or maybe Bjorn. Something regal and unoffensive.
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2. Astrid Is Just… There
DreamWorks Astrid? A battle-hardened, independent warrior who slowly learns to respect Hiccup.
1950s Disney Astrid? She barely exists.
• She’s a princess now. Because all female leads must be princesses.
• She doesn’t fight. She mostly stands in the background, watching Hiccup with admiration.
• She has a romantic duet with him five minutes after meeting him.
• Her only job is to get kidnapped so Hiccup can rescue her.
• She wears an impractically sparkly dress at all times.
Her one personality trait?
💖 “I believe in you, Bjorn!”
That’s it. That’s all she does.
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3. Toothless Is Now a Wise-Cracking, Singing Sidekick
DreamWorks Toothless? A cat-like, intelligent but silent dragon with deep emotional depth.
1950s Disney Toothless? A talking, goofy, wise-cracking dragon sidekick voiced by Phil Harris.
• He never shuts up.
• He is constantly cracking jokes about how much he loves food.
• He does NOT look cool. He’s a chubby, dopey, big-eyed cartoon dragon with a snaggletooth.
• His wings make airplane noises when he flies.
• He 100% has a musical number called “Let’s Soar, Kid!”
Hiccup (er, Bjorn) climbs onto Toothless’s back.
🎶 “But how can I fly?”
Toothless: “With a little bit of courage… AND A WHOLE LOTTA FLAPPIN’!”
🎶 (Breaks into a jazzy tap-dance number mid-flight.)
DreamWorks made Toothless majestic.
1950s Disney Toothless would be a Looney Tunes reject.
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4. The Villain Is a Generic Evil Viking With No Motivation
DreamWorks How to Train Your Dragon has nuanced conflicts about tradition vs. change.
1950s Disney How to Train Your Dragon? Nope. Just a random, cackling bad guy.
• His name is something absurd like “Baron Fangar.”
• He wears a giant, billowing cape at all times.
• He has absolutely no reason for hating dragons. He just yells “DRAGONS MUST DIE!” and that’s it.
• His theme song is literally just called “Dragons Must Die.”
• He has a deep, evil voice that echoes dramatically even when he’s indoors.
And instead of a tense final battle, he just falls off a cliff and dies instantly.
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5. The Vikings Are Goofy Comic Relief Characters
Forget brutal, war-ready warriors.
In 1950s Disney, every Viking is just… kinda silly.
• Gobber is now the fat, bumbling comic relief.
• Stoick is a big, dumb teddy bear who sings a heartfelt song about loving his son.
• All the other Vikings are either clumsy oafs or jolly drinking buddies.
• One of them is definitely voiced by Sterling Holloway (the guy who played Winnie the Pooh).
And every time they talk about war, they get a musical number about how fighting is fun.
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6. The Ending Is a Big, Happy, Over-the-Top Musical Finale
DreamWorks ending? Hiccup and Toothless save the day, but Hiccup loses a leg in the process.
1950s Disney ending? No child is allowed to be sad. Ever.
• Bjorn defeats the villain with zero consequences.
• Toothless flaps his wings, winks at the camera, and says something ridiculous like, “You ever see a dragon dance?”
• Astrid gets nothing to do except dramatically run into Bjorn’s arms.
• The entire town sings a reprise of “Let’s Soar, Kid!” as fireworks explode for some reason.
And then, a giant, golden, sparkly storybook closes, revealing the title:
📖 “The Dragon and the Prince”
ROLL CREDITS.
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Final Verdict: Would 1950s Disney How to Train Your Dragon Be Good?
• Would it be beautiful? Yes.
• Would it be emotionally compelling? Absolutely not.
• Would it have 14 musical numbers? Of course.
• Would it be fun in an absurd, “they really did that?” kind of way? Oh, absolutely.
DreamWorks gave us one of the best animated trilogies ever made.
1950s Disney would have given us a cute, empty, musically excessive fantasy film that people remember mostly for the songs.
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🚨 SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT 🚨
If you somehow survived this completely ridiculous rewrite, check out my YouTube channel where I ruin animation history for free.
🔥 Comment below: Should we let 1950s Toothless be a crime against animation, or would you watch it ironically? 🔥
Next up:
🤖 What If WALL-E Was a 1930s Ub Iwerks Silent Cartoon?
(Hint: Giant white gloves. Banjo solos. The entire human race is played by identical rubber hose men. 🚀)
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FOUR MORE TO GO.
We’re in the home stretch of the most insane “What If” series ever.
Let’s keep the chaotic rewrites rolling!
